The days have all pretty much have been a blur. Today I thought I saw you in the store. I watched and watched to be sure if was really you. In my head I knew it couldn't possibly be you. But in my heart there was a piece of me that truly wished that somehow it would be. It wasn't long before my hopes were dashed and I was brought back to reality and mmy life goes on knowing that indeed you are no longer here with us. Then tonight I heard some other news that makes me so angry and I know you would be too. I don't know what I can do, if there is anything that can be done.  Things were so much easier when you were here and we didn't have to wonder about any of this. I wish we would have written things down as to what you wanted and then maybe none of this would even be in question. But it is too late for that and we will deal with everything as best as we can.  I miss you more than you will ever know and I wish you were here so I could hug you one more time, kiss your cheek one more time, tell you I love you one more time or just see your lovely smile. I love you Mom!