The days have all pretty much have been a blur. Today I thought I saw you in the store. I watched and watched to be sure if was really you. In my head I knew it couldn't possibly be you. But in my heart there was a piece of me that truly wished that somehow it would be. It wasn't long before my hopes were dashed and I was brought back to reality and mmy life goes on knowing that indeed you are no longer here with us. Then tonight I heard some other news that makes me so angry and I know you would be too. I don't know what I can do, if there is anything that can be done.  Things were so much easier when you were here and we didn't have to wonder about any of this. I wish we would have written things down as to what you wanted and then maybe none of this would even be in question. But it is too late for that and we will deal with everything as best as we can.  I miss you more than you will ever know and I wish you were here so I could hug you one more time, kiss your cheek one more time, tell you I love you one more time or just see your lovely smile. I love you Mom!

Love For My Mom!

They say "Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever." - Unknown.
I know that we don't get to choose who are parents will be but, I know that God knows what he is doing. We were blessed with the best mother and we couldn't have asked for more. What we wouldn't give to have our mother back again to be able to hold her hand once more.
I know she wished she could afford to give her children more. But she gave us plenty. She gave us love and understanding and a happy home.  Our happiness was her happiness. Our pains were her pains. Our success was her success. She has always been there for us and made sacrifices and did without so that we could have and she did that as only a mom could do.
She may not have graduated from High school, yet she was educated. Everyday life was her classroom; common sense and her faith was her teacher. She lived by simple golden rules.  She worked hard to raise her children so that they would "amount to something." 
Did we say things to her like:
"Thanks, Mom, for giving us life.
Thanks for healing our hurts or kissing away our pains…
Thanks for the nights you nursed us through a sickness or just sat by our bed until we fell asleep.
Thank you for showing support, whether it was by encouraging us or our children through your interactions with us in our everyday lives whether it be in sports or school or church functions.
Thanks for teaching us right from wrong…to respect others…to recognize the real values of life.
Thanks for disciplining us with love.
Thanks that even when we failed you never gave up.
Thanks, Mom, for your love…your understanding… your sacrifices.
Thanks for making us smile, for loving us unconditionally and for believing in us.
We discover the blessings that come from the one who loves us all, GOD. Your kindness, devotion, humility and your countless acts of love… all these gave us our first gentle glimpse of God!

Know how grateful we are, for the way you had raised us, for teaching the value of integrity and work.

We are proud of how much you have accomplished not just being a mother and grandmother…... You had been a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend.
We love you for so many other reasons and these are only a few, but we love you simply because you were only you!
Thank you for showing us that the job of “Mom” doesn’t end.  Ever.."
As I stand here today with this ache in my heart and tears in my eyes. And even if I believed I didn’t tell her these things enough. I believe she truly knew anyway. She wanted only happiness for her children and grandchildren and every life she touched.
Thank you Mom from all of us. We love you dearly, We will surely miss you!

You were an awesome woman! I hope that one day I too will touch the lives of many as you have done.

Thanks, Mom, for being our Mom.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

How long must we wait to see the good things we know are out there and seem just an arms length away? How long must we wait and how far can we go down into the very depths do we have to go? I am at a total loss. I am so looking forward to start climbing out of this pit .

Frustration at its Finest

Who knew I would be at this place in my life. If I could ever begin to have a choice as to what transpires in my life, it certainly would not be what has taken place over the last few months. The littlest things irritate me to no end. And yet those around me don't think I even have the right to feel the things I am feeling. I apparently have no right to feel the things I am feeling. I am a prisoner in my own home. I have no freedom whatsoever. I continually am waiting for the ax to fall or the next thing to happen. What will transpire next? I dread waking up many days. I really have no person around me to even open up to. If I try and say anything to anyone here I am being overly dramatic. I fear where I may end up if things don't change here. I feel as if I am beating my head against the wall and there is no way out. to be honest......


I HATE MY LIFE!!!! 

ER trip

I haven't been to the ER in a long time for myself anyway. I have this swollen hardness in my groin area and it was indeed quite painful. I first notice it on Tuesday evening and it was really sore on Wednesday and then I worked on Thursday. By Friday I could hardly stand it and was not sleeping well at all. Finally Nick looked at it once again on Friday after we had already come home from Huntingdon. He gave me no choice, we were headed back to Huntingdon to the ER. Turns out I have to very large abscesses and there was no way they could even possibly drain them. I was given an antibiotic and pain reliever I took off work on Saturday and have been taking it easy for the past 2 days. I was advised to take a sitz bath and apply as warm as I could stand compresses on it. The one is indeed draining an we are watching the other to see if it will start to drain and shrink as well. I have been praying that it will be taken care of. So I am off to take another sitz bath and another pain pill. Not sure if church is in the cards for tomorrow or not. We shall see!

Happy Thanksgiving

Lord, I give thanks to You for You are good; Your love endures forever. You are with me so I will not be afraid. You are my strength and my song and my salvation. You have made this day so I will rejoice and be glad in it. You are my God and I will give You thanks. You are good and I will lift You up with my thanksgiving. Father, I praise You because You have conquered and taken away the sting of death. Today, I choose to give You thanks in all circumstances - no matter what - because I know it is Your will for me to praise You. Be lifted up, God, and be enthroned in the praises I bring.

During this season of Thanksgiving I am indeed thankful for many things. God has provided me with a loving God fearing man of 27 glorious years in which I look forward to celebrating many more with. I am blessed for the gift of my children and what a blessing they have been in watching them grow and become the man and women they are becoming. I am thankful for the home that God has provided for us. I am thankful for my extended family on both sides. Each one has been a blessing to me throughout the years of my life.I am thankful for my church family who have been and continue to be a source of blessings to our family. I am thankful for wonderful friends both ones close and ones far away. I am thankful for this avenue of the internet that I have found wonderful friends even though I have never had the opportunity to meet, God still has provided this and one day I will meet them in heaven.

I am thankful that I have this day to be voice the many things that I am thankful for but I pray that throughout the year I will continually remember to be thankful and pray that I too can be a blessing to those around me and those I come in contact with!

May God richly bless you! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

At The End of Your Rope

We often find ourselves at the end of our rope. We feel deserted, alone, like a failure, completely devastated by circumstances. When we find our selves in this position what should we do?
The children of Judah found themselves much in the same situation. They definitely felt deserted. They had left God and God was bringing judgement upon them if they would not return to him. Israel fell to Assyria. Judah enjoyed times of God’s blessing while they walked with Him.
The ministry of Zeph takes place in the city of Jerusalem around the time of King Josiah. Judgement was soon coming to Judah if they did not change their ways. Zephaniah sent a warning that Judgement was coming and that the people should repent, you could fairly say that they were at the end of their rope. He also told them that there is hope and that God would restore His people.
In chapter 3 we find the message of hope. Here God is using Zeph to remind the children of God that He has not forgotten them and that even though they will be punished for their sins, God will bring restoration to them. Even when we feel deserted, alone, at the end of our rope- Zeph’s message brings hope to us as well.

Zeph. 3:17

we must stop and realize that:

I. We are not alone, God is in our midst.
The promise to the Hebrews was that God would dwell among them and that He would be their God and they would be His people. They would enjoy times of blessing as they walked with Him and obeyed Him.
He protected them in the midst of the plagues of Egypt
He went before them and behind them as a cloud and fire while the people fled from Egypt
He conquered cities merely by having the people walk around it
This is only the tip of the iceberg of all of the things that God did for His children.
His promise was that “I will never leave you nor forsake you”
His message through Zeph is I am here. Even when you feel like I have left you alone I haven’t, I am here!

This message is for us today as well. The Lord your God is in your midst, The Mighty One will save.
Jesus promised that He would not leave us as orphans Jn. 14:18. Paul tells us that we are God’s temple with the Spirit of God living within us- I Cor. 3:16. His promise to never leave nor forsake carries through to us today- Heb. 13:5
We have the Spirit of the Lord within us if we are a believer. That means that God through His Spirit is present with us where ever we go, what ever we do. This should encourage us- we are not alone! This should also discourage us from making poor choices about what we will participate in- we are not alone!
When you feel abandoned- God is in your midst! When you think you are w/o hope-God is in your midst!
When you feel forsaken- God is in your midst! When you reach the end of your rope- God is in your midst!

When you reach the end of your rope let go- God is there and let Him handle it.

II. You are a treasure.
Isa. 65:19 “I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and joy in My people; the voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, nor the voice of crying.”
Even though the people of God had messed up and left God, He never left them. They were special to Him. They had value in His eyes. God went through great lengths to restore the Hebrew people. They are precious to Him. He continued to give them opportunities to come back to Him.

We too are special to God. We have value in His eyes.
I Cor. 6:20- you were bought at a price- the price of Jesus’ blood.
2 Cor. 4- we have treasure in earthen vessels- treasure of Jesus

God loves you; died for you; desires you; He will quiet you with his love;
Knowing the precious love of God should bring calm to our hearts. It should bring peace. In all of the anxiety of what is going on; knowing the love of God should quiet our hearts and calm us. Knowing that Jesus died on the cross for you and me should bring peace.
The Lord goes through great lengths to bring you to Him. His desire is for a genuine relationship with you. He has given His Son to make that possible.


III. He rejoices over you
Is. 62:5- as the bridegroom rejoices over His bride, so the Lord rejoices over His children.
Mt. 18- Parable of the lost sheep- seeks it, finds it, rejoices over it- just as God does for the one who returns home.
The story of the prodigal son- son left, returned, father rejoiced- fathers children are precious in His sight.
A mother quiets a crying baby by singing. The soft calm voice soothes the child and helps them to calm- God does the same for us- sings over us and quiets us w/ His singing.
God rejoices over me! God rejoices over you!

                                                                                 -Tony McCreery